


There's a Reason why Piglins don't have Portals

by lemondrxps



Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Found Family, Hurt/Comfort, Sleepy Bois Inc as Family, Transformation, phil and techno almost die, techno is a piglin, they're best friends turned family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:08:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28427541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemondrxps/pseuds/lemondrxps
Summary: Technoblade was born and raised in the Nether, although like most Piglins he's been going solo from a very young age. That changed when he met Phil, and more things change when Phil is put in danger.
Relationships: Technoblade & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 261





	1. The Nether is a Dangerous Place

The Nether was sweltering hot, hotter than the furthest points of the deserts and mesas in the overworld. It was hotter than the deepest of caves, its heat suffocating and thick, causing the landscape to look hazy and foggy. The Nether was hot, except for when it’s not. 

There was only one biome where the heat of the Nether never seemed to reach, but instead it was cold, oh so cold. It sucked the warmth out of everything, maybe that’s why it was filled with souls. The Soul Sand Valley was morbidly beautiful, with it’s blue haze and the blue tinted fire, even though the fire was only blue as its fuel was the souls which lay trapped in the ground underneath. The valley was cold, colder than anywhere else in the Nether, it’s cold colder than anywhere in the overworld- the bone chilling freeze only rivaled by the cold of the End. Maybe that’s why the only creatures that lived in the valley were the ones who couldn’t feel. 

It wasn’t often any other creature found itself in the valley, it was far too cold for fire dwelling creatures like blazes or magma cubes, and piglins tend to stay far away as far too many of their kind fell victim to the sand which pulled on you and the cold which killed you. There were exceptions of course, and Technoblade had deemed his travel into the Soul Sand Valley an exception. 

_ Philza had been gone for two days.  _

Two days wasn’t very much by many means, but he’d been staying in the Nether. The Nether was dangerous. 

Techno had never left the Nether, meeting Phil on one of his first visits to a local Bastion. Phil hadn’t been like many other humans, who’d opted to try and ransack the place. Instead, Phil had stood near the front, offering various items for trade- ease of getting a stock of Nether items. Techno had been younger then, looking upon the older man with the large wings with awe- and at his sword even more so. Techno had been too young to defend the Bastion, but not too young to train and spar, and Phil had the coolest sword he’d ever seen. 

The man came by many times to trade, bringing items they couldn’t obtain in the Nether, as well as precious materials. He’d even offered to help reconstruct broken areas of the Bastion, earning trust amongst local piglins. It was one of the days where he’d come to trade, where Phil wandered off to follow him as he left the area. He wanted to see what the man had been up to! He also wanted to know where he’d gotten the sword. 

They didn’t get far before the man had noticed the younger piglin following him. He found it amusing, and offered to talk. Techno had so many questions, and Phil had answered them all. This became a routine that lasted several years, and when Techno was old enough Phil taught him fighting techniques unique to the overworld. Techno had offered a room his home within a Crimson Forest to Phil, who’d grown to frequent the Nether at that point. They became good friends, Techno teaching Phil all he’d learned while growing up in the hellscape, and Phil had told him stories about the overworld. Techno wished he could see it. 

That brings him to the Soul Sand Valley, a cloak hugged tight to his shoulders to try and keep warm, although this attempt was ultimately in vain. Phil had told him two days ago he’d needed to gather some soul sand and bones for something, and Techno had let him, assuming he’d be home within a few hours- he almost nearly was. It had been two days. He feared the worst- this was the Nether after all, and it was unforgiving to humans. He’d followed his scent trail to the valley, but lost it there- anything that entered seemed to get lost, but he walked in anyway. There were only Skeletons and Ghasts, and large bone structures which Techno wished he’d never have to see what they belonged to. No sign of Phil. 

What if he’d been pulled under the sand? Slipped on gravel into the lava below? A ghast could have shot him- or maybe a skeleton. Phil was a skilled fighter but there were so many creatures, and the cold wouldn’t have let him fly easily. He bared his tusks, huffing at the thought. He had to find him, he had to find his friend- his...his friend. 

He spotted a patch of netherrack amongst the sand, noticing a cave, and decided to duck inside for cover, a breather from the harsh cold and the sand. He should’ve worn covers on his hooves- they were caked and filled with the brown sludge that coated the valley outside. Words chimed in his head to keep going. 

**_Search. Find. Protect. Phil is in danger. Friend. ~~Family~~? E. _ **

He shook his head, running a hand through his hair. Phil had helped him braid it back two days prior- it was messy now, but that wasn’t a big worry for him. He had to find Phil. Techno’s senses had blurred together. He couldn’t catch the scent of Phil amongst the smell of sulfur and death, and all he could hear was the howling of wind and the distant cries of the damned. His fingers had started to go numb in the cold.

His break was short lived as he heard something- it was distant, but it was something- carried by the winds from far away. It wasn’t the usual cries and moans, or the clinking of bones. Techno shot up. He didn’t know what it was, but he hoped it was Phil, and he set out charging back into the cold and against the sand. He ran- as much as he could against the wind, shouting for his friend. He couldn’t lose Phil- he’d taught him so much over the years, he’d stuck by him. The other piglins didn’t have much of a sense or need to be affectionate or caring for one another, they worked based on survival and benefit, Phil had shown him friendship- he’d become his family. Techno wouldn’t let the Nether take away Phil.

It was an understatement that he’d grown fond and attached to the human. 

Techno stumbled as he spotted in the sand- a bucket hat, ripped and torn and- oh no. He picked up the pace, snatching up the hat as he ran, various spots of deep red littered the thing, and he only hoped that the blood- well he hoped it wasn’t Phil’s. His hooves hurt, they weren’t meant for the sand and the pull it had. He felt numb, but he kept going. 

**_Find Phil. Danger. Support. Danger. Blood? Blood. Blood. Blood._ **

He heard bows, bones, his senses strengthening with the chanting in his head. He smelt blood, and he ran. It was then when he spotted a portal- broken, a figure slumped against it with arrows littering his body. All Techno could see was green, but he knew- it was Phil, and the skeletons around- a fortress- wither skeletons...they’d hurt his family. Phil had tried to escape via a portal but they’d stopped him. 

There was a cry, and Techno’s head whipped over- ghast- fire charge. Everything moved fast, but Techno moved faster. 

**_Blood. Blood. Phil. Protect Phil. Blood._ **

He pulled out a crossbow, signature of his kind, and shot the charge midair, sending it hurtling toward the portal, landing on the obsidian, and igniting the thing with a hum. Phil didn’t move. 

**_Kill. Destroy. Protect Phil. Portal. ~~E. E. E~~. ~~Family~~ \- family? ~~dad~~ \- dadza? Phil!_ **

Shoving his crossbow onto it’s hook on his belt, he quickly unsheathed his sword, and with quick movements slashed away at the skeletons near Phil before they had the chance. He slid by, grabbing a golden apple from his pocket, shoving it to Phil’s mouth, forcing him to bite. He stayed crouched beside him, shielding off arrows and the others from getting to him. Please don’t be dead- he didn’t know what he’d do if Phil had died. 

“Tech...techno?” Phil’s voice broke, coughing and sputtering as the apple worked its healing effects on him. Techno gave a small huff of relief.

“Don’t worry Phil, I’ve got you-” 

There was a cry, the ghast. He had seconds before the charge hit- and with no other option, Techno grabbed Phil around the waist, dragging him into the swirls of purple in the haze of the portal. He’d never been this close to one- he’d never felt its buzzing touch, how it made your skin vibrate and crawl. He’d only seen them from far distances or in books. The piglins had taught him a few life lessons when he was young. One of the first rules he’d learned…

_Never go into a nether portal._

But...he had no choice. There was a whir as the swirls danced in his vision, his hold on Phil tightening as suddenly they were thrown out of the portal, and Techno’s vision was met with bright light. 


	2. Piglins can't go through Portals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Techno finds out why he was once told never to go through a portal. Phil is there to help.

Technoblade had never felt the warmth of the sun before. A calm warmth and a bright light- much different from the dim and sweltering setting of his home. He felt a breeze and he heard various creatures all around him. The awe of the overworld had to be cut short, as he heard the coughing from Phil beside him. Instantly his attention was taken up by the human beside him- Phil. Phil was still hurt. 

He fished out the apple once again, handing it to the man, carefully propping him up, “It’s okay Phil- they’re far too stupid to come through. No brains.” He muttered, feeding him the apple. Techno felt warm, but he pushed it back. Adrenaline, probably. 

“Techno-” Phil muttered, biting into the apple before he suddenly froze up, “Techno! Techno you have to go back you can’t-” 

“Can’t what Phil? Save you?” Techno huffed softly, “Your hurt and- I’m not going to let anything happen to you-” Did the overworld make your skin crawl and your nerves buzz?

“Tech, you don’t understand-”

Techno doubled over suddenly, unable to find the air to breathe, wheezing and gasping for air that wouldn’t come. He felt ill, very ill. He felt hot- hotter than the lakes of magma that filled his home, or the fire which covered every surface it could. He felt hotter than he thought was possible, yet he was shivering like he was back in the valley. He heard Phil, but not what he was saying, it blurred together as his ears rang. 

Was he dying? Was this why they told him not to go through the portal when he was younger? He felt sick as he looked on, a sea of green and blue swirling in his vision. He could feel his breakfast of a mushroom stew bubble to the surface. His skin burned and his head hurt, and he could hear vague shouts. Philza seemed better, sort of. The apple must have helped. That was good. All he could hear was his inner voices, but even they seemed to blur together. 

**_Hurts. Pain. Dying? Dead! Phil saved! Phil. Pretty. Sick._ **

He blinked a few times, crying out softly as he lost his strength completely, toppling over. 

Grass was soft and cool, but it felt scratchy against his burning skin. He felt wet- sweat? He thought so. His brain felt like much and he couldn’t think. Phil lifted him up- he felt that. He couldn’t see- the world hurt. He closed his eyes, and the world was no longer bright. 

**₍ᐢ･⚇･ᐢ₎**

Techno awoke to a ringing in his ears and the sound of someone moving. He blinked, looking around some. Heh? Where was he? In alarm, he sat up, but regretted that decision instantly, as his insides seemed to roll and he felt himself nearly vomit. His world seemed to spin and he lay back down slowly, taking a deep breath. His lungs burned, feeling like they were on fire, and it occurred to him that he hadn’t taken a breath.

What the hell had happened? He sat there, thinking, what was the last thing he remembered- the valley, he remembered the cold and the valley, and blood.

**_Blood. Blood. Blood. Phil?_ **

Phil! Phil was hurt, but he’d saved him- got through the portal and, oh god he went through the portal. Techno gave a loud groan, calling out softly, “Phil?” He hoped the older human could hear him. He felt awful. He felt like he was sick, but he had the suspicion he wasn’t. 

There was a soft noise of something closing, and out peeked the man from a doorway beyond a table- Techno was in a house- Phil’s house? Phil must’ve had a home after all, he did come from the overworld, despite living with Techno for the last long while. 

“Oh- oh you’re awake, thank god, thought you’d never wake up, mate.” Phil walked over, setting down a cup he was holding gently on the table. 

Techno looked him over- he was wrapped and bandaged- but he was okay. That made him feel better, it made the nonsense in his head ease up too. 

“What the hell happened Phil- I… the last thing I remember was you were hurt- and we made it to the overworld- are we still…”

“We’re still in the overworld- didn’t think it was a great idea to go back through the portal- besides you...well.” 

Phil fell silent, and Techno could see as the man furrowed his eyebrows in thought. Techno tried to sit up again, but once again felt nauseous. Despite this, he stayed up this time. Taking deep breaths to try and calm himself- they did nothing. 

“Well what, Phil?” Techno brought a hand to rub his pounding head, but he froze. His skin was a cool pink, not a warm peach. There were splotches of green and darker pink. He gave a soft noise and a huff. That was a familiar combination of colors- and that wasn’t good. He ran a hand through his hair, strands falling into his vision a bright pink rather than the warmer tones he was used to, “Phil?” His voice quivered. He hated that. 

“I- I’m not quite sure what happened Tech, I’ve tried reading a few things I- clerics, in a village told me that Piglins can’t handle the overworld, and their bodies die from it if exposed for a very short amount of time, but their spirits remain in...the bodies-” 

His ears were ringing again. He was dead? That meant he was dead, but he wasn’t dead he was right here. He could feel and touch and smell- and breathe, though he could tell he didn’t need to. His heart didn’t pound- he’d hear it by now. 

_**Dead? Technoblade never dies! Phil! E. Support!** _

He was brought back and out of his own thoughts by Phil, who cursed silently, head in his hands, “Should’ve never gotten in a situation for you to have to come save me-”

Techno shot up, “Phil- no, Ender no this is not your fault, don’t you dare-” He placed a hand on Phil’s shoulder, “I came looking because I-” Techno paused, “Because you’re...you’re my friend Phil. You would’ve done the same, right?” 

“You’re so young Techno! I-” Phil was promptly shut up by the...zombified piglin currently with his arms, “Stop, please Phil, because if somethin’ would’ve happened, I wouldn’t have forgiven myself for not lookin’.” 

Phil sighed, closing his eyes, “I suppose- I suppose...I mean you saved my life, and...you’re not quite dead, really. Just undead-” He hummed, “I’ve got plenty of books from clerics… things will change for you I think, but,” He ruffled up Phil’s hair, “We’ll stick together now, yeah? And you can enjoy the overworld.”

Techno laughed softly, “Yeah. When I feel better. I feel awful. We’ll stick together. That...that sounds nice. Safer here too, yeah?” 

“Sometimes. Get some rest Techno, I’ll look into stuff you can eat, get you some energy and make you feel better. We’ll get through this Tech, me and you.” 

“Me and you.” 

“Get some rest,” Phil stood up, “I’ll wake you up in the morning, if you’re not already up.”

_**Rest. Sleep. Support! Stick together! E. Family. Friend. Phil. Dad. Philza. Dadza.** _

“Alright...goodnight da- Phil.”

The older man chuckled, “Night Techie.”

Zombified piglin. Huh. Well, now the saying would be true, wouldn’t it? Technoblade never dies. It isn’t easy to die twice, is it?

  
  



End file.
